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Hay gaiz   
05:31am 28/04/2009
 
mood: bored
For both of you reading this, I made a new LJ for less personal stuff. nai_calus, so you don't wonder who the hell it was that friended you.
 
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12:47pm 15/12/2008
 
mood: ecstatic
Erevan, the fluffy siamese from the last post, continues to get bigger. She runs from us less now, just has to get used to us. She was so bad when she came.

Saw Phantom of the Opera back on the 3rd at the Orpheum in San Francisco. I was in the front row which was alternately awesome and really shitty. The Orpheum has a high stage and there's a couple of scenes where it takes away from the effect or just plain makes it impossible to see anything at all if you're on the wrong side of the stage - Can't see the floor in the title song so you miss out on the candles on the lake, and I was on the right side and Stranger Than You Dreamt it is mostly done on the floor on the left side of the stage, so I couldn't really see any of it. Also the All I Ask Of You reprise before the chandelier crash, the angel is pretty much level with the first row so you can't see him on top of it when it comes down, but oh well. Every high note that isn't canned was like right in front of my face so you can actually hear them singing and not just what's coming from the speakers. Really good for seeing the emotions on people's faces. Plus you get a face full of fog from the lake scenes, heat from the end of Wandering Child and the chandelier is right fucking there.

Oh man, it was so awesome, seat iffiness aside. The cast I saw was excellent, all three of the leads were great and the supporting cast was mostly awesome too. The only one I was iffy on was Meg, I didn't like her voice, but then, I never like Meg's voice so that's not saying much, rofl. Kim Stengel is a fucking godtier Carlotta, John Cudia is an awesome Phantom, Trista Moldovan is a kickass Christine, Kyle Barisich was a great Raoul... We had an understudy Piangi, but he was awesome. Actually the casting there was amusing. They're apparently changing Piangis halfway through the Orpheum run, the new one starts tommorow according to the program. The guy who usually plays Joseph Buquet was the understudy Piangi we had, and the guy who was playing Buquet... Was the guy who will be replacing the current Piangi in the role. XD Heh.

The overture was even better than I had remembered, gods, so awesome. Especially since I was like two feet from the orchestra, rofl. Really the whole thing was even better than I was expecting it to be, so it was just awesome all around. Damn it I love Phantom. I kind of want to see it again, heh.

I managed to entirely by accident end up at the stage door afterwards and managed to get my program signed by all three of the leads, score. Didn't see Kim Stengel, though, sadly, I wanted her autograph too, heh. Carlotta's always been my favourite, and she's awesome as all hell. Well, what do you expect from the Carlotta who's done the most performances of the role, heh? Over 4,500, damn.

Ahh. Happy times. Still no fucking job, but I'm still happy from seeing Phantom so. :D
 
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10:24pm 16/11/2008
 

Yup. :3
 
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zflsckgjldfkbj;d   
09:30pm 05/11/2008
 
mood: crushed
Thanks to coika for telling me what that song was. :D Ironically I read the HnG manga but never watched the anime, heh.

Went down to Modesto yesterday to go hold up No on Prop 8 and Obama/McCain signs with people at the busiest intersection in the city. That was nice, but I'm so damned sore I had to have my dad help me get undressed last night and get re-dressed today 'cause I can barely lift my arms to get my shirt on. Ow. But yeah, it was fun and worth doing. Found out about the Obama win as I was leaving the place I went to for coffee

Other than that... Yeah fuck this state who's moving to Canada with me? *stabs Prop 8* I thought better of you than this, California.

T_T

...Maybe we should split the state like they always used to go on about doing. We'll split it north-south and the upper part can be California and the lower half can be Bigotistan and we'll send the people who voted yes on 8 down south and the ones who voted no can come up north and we'll all get gay marriages in San Fransisco even if we're straight, just to celebrate that we can. Yeah, that'll work. <_>
 
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08:28am 21/10/2008
 
mood: angry
Meh, I'm too depressed and angry to try to figure it out right now, anyone have any idea what song is in this video?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4howOe1BX1I&feature=related

I'm sick to fucking death of people thinking that because I'm bi/tg that that makes me fair game for their '1337 trolling' which is actually bigoted harassment. Oh, and the fact that I don't lawlz at their disgusting bigotry makes me 'weak'. And trying to drag my parents into your disgusting harassment BS? You do NOT go there. No. Not with my father.

So much rage. Ugh. I can't even see straight, I'm so damned angry. This has crossed the bounds of trolling. It's not funny or lulz. It's just sick.
 
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I sang to a squirrel because I'm cool like that.   
03:45am 15/10/2008
 
mood: excited
Ganking a couple of memes that Violaine ganked.

*Grab the nearest book.
*Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

"Drow(Evil subterranean elves) often take up wizardry, but wizards are quite rare among the savage humanoids."

Yeah the nearest book was the D&D 3.5e Player's Handbook. Fear my neckbeard.

Still no job, blech. :<

Sorrow.

On the bright side, I'm going to see The Phantom Of The Opera in San Fran in December. Fuck yeah.
 
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What the hell.   
01:35am 22/06/2008
 
mood: sad
Kanbe Miyuki is dead. Holy crap. Just... Holy shit. She was the same age I am. Just... Wow.

This sucks. >_
 
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Hell. Yes.   
10:44pm 15/05/2008
 
mood: ecstatic
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/16/us/16marriage.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

That is all.
 
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11:06pm 12/05/2008
 
mood: pissed off
Dear godfucking shitheaded news organizations:

I. Do. Not. Give. A. Flying. FUCK. About. How. The. Precious. Goddamned. Olympic. Stadium. Is. Alright.

Worry more about, oh, I dunno, the fucking people? The goddamned pandas, who are somewhat less on my priority scale than the people but far above the fucking stadium, yet there's three paragraphs on the latter and one on the first?

People are fucking dead and dying. FUCK the stupid stadium!
 
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Yay meme   
01:32am 13/04/2008
 
mood: tired
Went to a meetup in San Francisco today but I'm too damned tired to post about it so you get the following things: Doll pictures and a meme.

Yay new girl doll, yay memeCollapse )
 
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WTF?   
12:01pm 07/03/2008
 
mood: blank
Proof, as if we needed more, that the Japanese are utterly insane:

http://page13.auctions.yahoo.co.jp/jp/auction/r43943870

I laughed for an hour straight. XD The gothic lolita and regular dog/cat outfits they're also selling were bad enough, but that... XD There are no words. XD

Also, bleh, it's been two weeks and I haven't heard anything. I saw the person who interviewed me in the store a week ago and she told me then that they hadn't had a chance to come to a decision yet, but it's been a week since then, so I guess I remain unemployed. :-/

Fuck.
 
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03:58am 25/02/2008
 
mood: bored
I want to learn more Japanese, but nowhere around here teaches it, and finding books that don't do fucking romaji is impossible. Argh, I don't want romaji. One, all of the systems drive me nuts in one way or another. Two, it doesn't help my reading any. Hell, it probably hurts it. And yet almost any book you look at, there's romaji right below the Japanese sentence. Or worse yet, it's *just* romaji... Flergh. Furigana, bitches! Or just put a line of kana where you're sticking the romaji. Something. I suppose I could go through books with white-out and white-out the romaji and replace it with hand-written furigana and white that out once I learn the kanji, but by that point... :P

I finally had a freaking interview last week after five flipping months. I don't hold out much hope, honestly, but... Well, I'm hoping anyway. XP Need job so badly. T_T

My sleep schedule is so hopelessly fucked up right now.
 
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Gaps   
09:58am 06/02/2008
 
mood: contemplative
WTF is it with fancy movie/TV versions paling so horribly in comparison to live versions of things?

The Moody Blues are a trillion times better live than they are on their albums. I didn't get my mother's love of them until she started taking me along with her to their concerts, at which point I understood, totally and completely.

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon makes me want to stab something with how tacky and cheesy and badly done it is... But even the earliest, dorkiest, lowest-production value iterations of SeraMyu move me and hold me, even raw. Fancy CG and scenes shot until they're perfect leave me cold, but attack effects done solely with stage lights and scenes getting slightly flubbed excite me and move me to tears. A video taken with a camcorder 12 years ago of Saito Rei singing Stay Alone live fills me with awe and excitement.

This is brought on, of course, by the biggest disappointment of a movie I've ever had the misfortune of watching - The Phantom Of The Opera. I had bad impressions of it from the theatre and wanted to see it again to see if I liked it any better the second time. I didn't. I think I hated it more without the blare of the movie theatre sound system to overwhelm me.

Oh, god. God god god. I grew up on the original cast recording. I can sing the entirety of the two-disc set from memory. I dreamed of getting to be Carlotta in a production someday, back before I gave up on music.(Which right there made me weird, I think every other young soprano in the universe capable of even squeaking out a high E wanted to be Christine. :P) I saw it in San Fransico back when they were still doing the production there and it was absolutely mindblowing back then. No, the cast wasn't Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman, but they were damned good and I didn't cringe every time they opened their mouths. Hell, I've got some bootlegged recording of the second act of a Danish production and I like that version of Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again more than Sarah Brightman's.

So I went into the movie, both times, with hope. Wanting to be awed. Wanting to have that 'holy shit' feeling.

Instead, I spent the entire movie sitting there noting every single goddamned thing that had been changed, half the time for no good reason(Fuck, the changed lyrics to Music Of The Night between the Highlights cassette tape my dad originally had and the two-disc CD version bother me and I still sing the older ones. XD). Every unnecessary or fucked up bit of staging or costuming(You've got to be shitting me. Masquerade in BLACK AND WHITE COSTUMES?!). And don't get me started on the CASTING. My GOD. A Phantom who sounds like a failed rock singer and is more hot than disfigured?! Christine's supposed to be drawn in by his VOICE, damn it. Christine... So dull. So very dull. So uninteresting. Yeah, great honey, you can hit that high note. You also can't emote for fuck. Carlotta... Oh good god. They fucking murdered her. Ugh.

And the chandelier... Goddamn it, it's supposed to fall at the end of the first act! And it's not as fun in the opening, either. OK, the transformation back to the old glory days was nice and flashy. Best part of the movie, actually. But it was better in the theatre version. No, seriously. Never mind that it wasn't as flashy. There's something about it being an actual fucking chandelier and stuff happening around you in 3D that makes it feel so much more alive and real. And the drop is a hell of a lot more exciting when it's a real chandelier falling from overhead. :D And it's real fucking singing. By people who are actually singers. The best fucking singer in the movie was Raoul. Raoul. The character who ISN'T A FUCKING SINGER. Ugh.

Maybe it's the real. Maybe it's the immediacy, the tangibleness of it, even in a recording. The clock turns back around you. Ooyama Anza gets too choked up to sing the song right. The band plays standing side by side while everyone in the audience dances. Even if it's make-believe, it feels real.

Why must the magic of the recording fall so short of the magic of the live?
 
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04:01am 14/01/2008
 
mood: drained
Hooray, I got rejected for the last two jobs I applied for within a day. Gotta love the internet. Instant 'fuck you, you worthless piece of garbage'.

Hell, even freaking Costco doesn't seem to want me. I can't do fast food again because the nearest fast food joints are so far away that the gas costs would eat most of the money, and you can't get full time to save your life.

My credit cards are all at least two months overdue, same with my student loan, realisticly I'm not going to be able to sell anything in any sort of timely manner and at the rate things are going I'm going to end up not being able to pay for my car or my insurance this month, not that the car works anyway.

It all feels so fucking hopeless.

Hell, even if I get a job nothing will change. It'll be more of the same shit it was at Wal-Mart. I couldn't pay my fucking bills worth a damn there either, and I *didn't* have to get gas every four days then.

I just want to give the hell up.
 
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02:57am 08/01/2008
  Also the second season of Tsubasa Chronicle fucking sucked. The first episode of the new OAV rocks though.  
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02:44am 08/01/2008
 
mood: depressed
It's been a while, hasn't it? Too much emotastic stuff.

Let's see:

As of today I have been unemployed for three months. My credit cards are going unpaid and all sorts of various bills are piling up on top of eachother. My credit is probably completely ruined. There is no way in hell I can possibly catch up.

My car does not work. I found that out when I tried leaving to go take an assessment test for a job. Which had been the only response I've gotten at all.

I haven't left the house in two weeks.

I'm getting extremely depressed.

I should have $1100 coming to me from the security deposit from the last place we lived, but the worthless cur who owns it came up with a ludicrous list of utter bullshit to cut it down to $365. Oh yeah, the check she sent bounced. Dad is taking her to court, but we won't get fuckall out of it, she's only slightly less poor than I am.

I've lost so much fucking money to overdraft fees. Why the FUCK doesn't the bank fucking reject charges that would put the account under/charges that come after it's under? That 80 fucking bucks could have paid... Oh, a lot of things. Goddamn it.

All I do is sit in front of the computer, put in applications online, and play Phantasy Star Universe. Even that's not helping much, as I suspect someone I know of fucking me over, though I'm too much of a puss to confront them. Goddamn it, even in fantasy la-la land stuff sucks.

/wrists

...Actually I'd probably just take some of dad's valium and vicodin and go to sleep, but you know what I mean.

Yeah. Things aren't going so great.
 
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Oh my fucking god.   
02:19am 11/10/2007
 
mood: pissed off
There's a fucking Autistic Pride Day?

This is one of those retarded things like saying 'Aspies' for people with Asperger's, isn't it?

Damn, some of this shit is hilarious. 'Neurodiversity', my ass. 'different kind of normal', my ass.

Ah, right, probably those people who claim to have Asperger's but have about as many symptoms of Asperger's as I do of having a broken leg. You know, they're good at math and slightly socially awkward, so they think they clearly must have it because it's kewl.

You know what I'm sick of? People bragging about how they're 'normal' and there's 'nothing wrong with them'. Then you're either damn near off the Autism spectrum or you're delusional. I'm sorry, there's something wrong with me.

Forming utterly single-minded obsessions with one single narrow topic to the exclusion of all else is not a good thing.

Being unable to make eye contact, understand the mechanisms and reasons for various social things or understand that someone is joking with your or being sarcastic because you can't read their tone from their actual voice or other 'obvious' clues is not a good thing.

Having a large vocabulary that does you no freaking good because you talk in run-on sentences, have no concept that you're going on for seven years and going off on tangents for another five before going back to make another seven year run-on, and generally sound like... Well, like a fucking autistic five year old... Yeah, that's not a fucking good thing. People bitch about me writing paragraphs from hell, using fucking weird over-ornate grammar structures that apparently make no goddamned sense to anyone but me, and generally sounding weird and forced. Yeah, um, this is supposed to be something to celebrate?

Having fucksquat in the way of empathy, being unable to read emotions beyond 'oh, she's crying, she must be sad or something' and 'oh, he's screaming, he's probably mad' and the most obvious of shit, and failing completely at expressing my own fucking feeling isn't a good fricking thing.

Having random little physical and verbal tics that I have no awareness of doing until someone points them out and freaking out at changes in routine isn't a fucking good thing.

Completely failing at trying to live on your own because you cannot manage to even plan out how the hell to feed yourself is not a good thing.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I fucking suffer from my Asperger's, kids. I'm not a 'different kind of normal', I'm fucked up. Though I apparently have at least something over these people since, you know, I REALISE THAT THERE'S SOMETHING BLOODY WRONG WITH ME.

It pisses me off so damned much, though. Especially the comparisons to gay pride. Um, no, there *isn't* anything wrong with gay people. Being gay does not affect your ability to function in society and take care of yourself, for fuck's sake.

Autism pride, autism/asperger's rights, do these people have no fucking clue what the hell they're doing? Apparently not. Gee, yes, please, let's get us all identified as 'normal' so they'll STOP MAKING ACCOMMODATIONS FOR KIDS WITH THIS SHIT. :D :D :D Let's stop all the support from various organizations for kids and adults with it so they can just figure shit out themselves and be miserable with no chance of help! Great going, idiots.

It's a fucking disease, not something to be proud of and wave a goddamned banner for. What's next, cancer pride? Bipolar pride?

'Acceptance, not cure' my ass. Cure, goddamn it. This shit needs a cure, not people calling it normal and getting rid of support for it. It's already hard enough to find support as it is. Let's not make it freaking worse. -_-

God, this kind of shit really pisses me the hell off.
 
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Itsuka isshouni kagayaite...   
12:03pm 03/07/2007
 
mood: nostalgic
Mmm, mind-fucks.

So recently I picked up the box set of the last thirteen eps of Utena because it was cheap at the store and I've been wanting it anyway. Finished watching the last four this morning. Oh man, it's been so long since the last time... Shit, I think it's been like eight years. Still just as good as I remembered. I was able to get through Ep. 39 better this time, though... Last time a certain sequence involving swords nearly made me throw up. It's still horrifying all these years later, though... Brr.

And still one of the best damn endings ever. No happy happy meaningless fluff. I still maintain that the way the ending happened is the only possible way it could mean anything, the only possible *true* victory. Utena isn't a prince. Anthy isn't her princess. Anthy is Anthy, and no longer the Rose Bride, and this is the best of all possible outcomes. More than any happy Sailor Moon ending, the very end where Anthy leaves Ohtori Gakuen of her own free will is still one of the most moving anime endings I've ever seen, if not the most.

Hard to believe it took this long to see it again... Then again, the last time messed me up so much I couldn't listen to the song 'Missing Link' for nearly two years because it reminded me of... That. XD;;;

Ahh, good shit, good shit. Now I need to track down the middle box set... Haven't seen the Black Rose arc in forever either. Also need to track down Slayers. Been too long for that too. Well, I last saw TRY in 2003, but still... Long time.

...Meh. I borrowed the DVD box set of TRY from Chris. Now I'm thinking of him again. :-/
 
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Apathy.   
04:57am 28/05/2007
 
mood: pissed off
Cut for languageCollapse )
 
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Squee.   
10:00pm 15/05/2007
 
mood: cheerful
Been doing some Y!J shopping again, bad me.

I also won one of the Lab's auctions for their old decanting bottles. :D Akuma may not be the best scent ever on me, but I like it well enough, and since the profits are going to the lab it's worth it for me. Got my C&S today too, so. *squee*

Now if I can just convince my allergies to let up. XD
 
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